What is the healthiest thing you've done for your marriage?
来源:互联网 发布:手机淘宝怎么上传宝贝 编辑:程序博客网 时间:2024/06/05 21:10
The first year of our married life was hard. Even though I wanted to be with Jon, things weren’t working out. I was mad at him for not pulling his weight around the house and he was unhappy that I didn’t like his daily TV watching habit. It is amazing how seemingly simple things like these can pull you apart.
We were headed for either a bad marriage or a divorce.
At the end of the year, I had a review at work. This was my first real job after college. I was asked what my accomplishments were for the year, where I saw myself going, what I wanted to do, what I liked and didn’t like about my work.
That got me thinking.
If I put in this effort to evaluate my work that I have not much allegiance to, why not do the same with my relationship?
If these questions can help me have a better work life, then why not see if they can help me have a better relationship at home.
I came home and suggested we do the same for our marriage. Jon wasn’t excited, but he played along. It was awkward and too clinical in the beginning, to say the least!
Here are the questions we both answered:
1.What has been my contribution(s) to the marriage in the past year?2.What is something that I bring to the marriage that doesn’t help the marriage?3.What has been my partner’s contribution(s) to the marriage in the past year?4.What is something that my partner brings to the marriage that doesn’t help the marriage?5.What is the one thing that I should work to be better at in the coming year?6.What is the one thing that my partner should work to be better at in the coming year?
We write these answers in a notebook taking turns. The only condition is that the number of points in #1 should be greater than the number of items in #2. And number of points in #3 should be greater than the number of items in #4.
This is so that we come away feeling appreciated, not judged.
We then read out loud and explain to our partner what we mean by what we wrote.
At the end, we decide what each of us should work on in the coming year.
We just celebrated 24 years of marriage. Now, we make the ‘review’ day a romantic one so we look forward to it. Since we have written our reviews in the same notebook, we have the fun of reading how we have evolved together over the years.
Nowadays we literally have to find things to complain about in each other because we have resolved most of the pesky issues. And we are genuinely happily married.
- What is the healthiest thing you've done for your marriage?
- What is the most important thing in your life?
- What I've done
- Quick setup — if you've done this kind of thing before
- [Quora] What is the most elegant line of code you've seen?
- Seeing What You've Drawn
- What have you done to the Earth, hackers?
- ArgumentException: The Thing You Want To Instantiate Is Null.
- Key is invalid. Ensure you've copied the file correctly
- It is said that wars in the 21st century will be fought over water. Do you agree? What do you think can be done now to alleviate
- The SQL Site Map Provider You've Been Waiting For
- 每日一句:Thank you for what you have done for us.( 9.10 )
- 70.You configured the Flash Recovery Area (FRA) for your database. The database instance is running
- Too often.things you want have the most is the one thing you can't have
- 40.You have statistics collected for some selected tables. Your requirement is that the statistics
- If You Want Something You’ve Never Had, You’ve Got To Do Something You’ve Never Done
- [Thought]What is the vital thing on the Internet or in real world?
- What To Do Once You've Downloaded A Module From The CPAN
- 音频和视频处理
- 2017第11届广西国际社会公共安全产品暨智慧城市产品展览会会刊(参展商名录)
- Android Studio中怎么使用DDMS工具?
- 一步步构建大型网站架构
- 关于Spring中Controller的单元测试
- What is the healthiest thing you've done for your marriage?
- 横向ListView(三) —— 添加头/尾视图及居中显示
- JVM整体结构
- ASP.NET 访问文件夹权限不足,System.UnauthorizedAccessException拒绝访问的处理方法
- 第三章——视图和视图层级
- 关卡设计快速入门_3. 创建一个新关卡
- React 中from 表单提交,自动化校验
- 优秀技术文章集合
- Unity 构建IOS和ANDROID工程 (一)