English Jokes
来源:互联网 发布:淘宝主图尺寸怎么裁剪 编辑:程序博客网 时间:2024/05/18 06:21
1. girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2. Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.
4. God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
5. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and
posted on the apple tray "Take only one.
God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile
of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples."
6. One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your
responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
7. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
Tell her not to tell anyone :-)
boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2. Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.
4. God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
5. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and
posted on the apple tray "Take only one.
God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile
of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples."
6. One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up.
MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your
responsibilities.
Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
7. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
Tell her not to tell anyone :-)
- English Jokes
- English Jokes
- Use Jokes and Humor to Learn English
- Jokes...
- Jokes about Jeff Dean
- 收集:Programer Jokes
- english
- English
- english
- ENGLISH
- English
- English
- english
- english
- english
- English
- english
- ENGLISH
- oracle 一个表上的多个触发器的执行顺序
- 编写一个小程序可以求出任意N!的末尾零的个数
- 马云在首届网商交易会上的讲话:不做电子商务,5年后你会后悔!
- 浅谈C/C++内存泄露及其检测工具
- 互联网巨头们:永远无敌?
- English Jokes
- ASP.NET 3.5中的ListView控件和DataPager控件
- 利用VMWare和WinDbg调试驱动程序
- 在第三版中的ETel库(转)
- DBDesigner 使用ODBC连接mysql
- 基于Dialog的应用程序,添加水平与垂直滚动条
- 记住这些祝福
- 持续集成(图片显示不出来,把完整版放到了附件里)
- COM组件设计与应用(二)GUID 和 接口