Happiness and Pain

        The way people hold to the belief that a fun-filled, pain-free life equals happiness actually reduces their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equal to happiness then pain must be equal to unhappiness. But in fact, the opposite is true: more often than not things that lead to happiness involve some pain.

       人们维持一种信仰-一种充满快乐，无痛苦的生活就代表着幸福，实际上减少了他们曾经得到真正幸福的机会。如果乐趣和愉快对等于幸福那么痛苦就一定对等于不幸福。但是实际上，相反的才是对的：正是涉及到一些痛苦才通向了幸福。

       As a result, many people avoid the very attempts that are the source of true happiness. They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional achievement, religious commitment, self improvement.

       结果是，一些人们避免了真正幸福的来源的那些尝试。他们害怕由一些事，诸如婚姻，生小孩，职业成就，宗教责任和自我发展等等必然带来的痛苦。

       Ask a bachelor why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying. If he is honest he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment. For commitment is in fact quite painful. The single life is filled with fun, adventure, excitement. Marriage has such moments, but they are not its most distinguishing features. 

       问一个单身汉即使当他发现约会变得少并且越来越不满意，为什么还抵制婚姻。如果他诚实的话，他会告诉你他害怕做出承诺。关于承诺实际上是相当的痛苦的。单独的一生中充满了快乐，冒险，惊奇。婚姻有如此的时刻，但它们不是它最明显的特点。

       Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night's sleep or three-day vacation. I don't know any parent who would choose the word fun to describe raising children. But couples who decide not to have children ever know the joys of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild.

       有未成年孩子的夫妇们有幸能得到一个整晚的睡眠或三天假期。我不知道有任何父母亲会选择快乐这个单词来描述生孩子。但是那些决定不要小孩的夫妇们不会知道看着孩子成长或和孙儿一起玩耍的乐趣。

       Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations. It liberates time: now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase out happiness. It liberates money: buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless. And it liberates us from envy: we now understand that all those who are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all.

       懂得和接受真正的幸福和快乐无关是最解放性的认识之一。它解放了时间：现在我们能将更多的时间投入到真正增加我们幸福的活动之中。它解放了金钱：购买新车或那些华丽的衣服将不会增加我们的幸福，而且那些幸福现在看上去无意义。并且它把我们从嫉妒心中解放了出来：我们现在知道那些常常有很多快乐的人也许根本就不开心。